You mailed me today, and asked me to stop sending you emails that tell you that I love you, to forget all that happened between us. And to maybe start afresh as friends.
Stop sending you mails telling you I love you, that will be hard to do cause I do love you a lot stll, I dont know if you asked me to stop cause you don't believe me or cause you feel uncomfortable when someone tells you that I don't know. Maybe it has painful memories attached to it thats why you ask me not to say it. I don't know, maybe you are just fed up of it all and hate reading it I dont know. I leave the benefit of the doubt to you.
To forget all that has happened between us. Yes I can forget all the bad times, especially towards the end. But not it is not possible for me to forget all the better times and all the times when we were happy together. I am not a person who believes that my time spent with you was a waste or was not worth it, and that I need to forget it. No thats not what or who I am. I loved the time we spent together, and those were some of the best days of my life I am not willing to forget those. I will never forget those. Those will stay with me forever.
To start afresh as friends. June I will do anything, anything to make things better between us, yes I love you and if that means being a friend of yours even though it will hurt me and I would always want to be much more than that to you, I will try and I will try to be there for you whenever you need me. I just hope someday you will see that we are maybe happy together and that we can have a much better tomorrow than we ever did.
Yes this is another confusing mail, I really dont know what she is thinking. I feel is she is thinking a bit like me, she knows that we will never be the same and even if we have to things will be very very different now in every which way. We will never be able to live together and the whole thing would be very different. She nor I, don't know what to do or how to go about it. I feel she wants to meet, but when the time comes she is not sure or afraid like me as to what would happen and would rather not face it. She wants to make contact but doesn't know how to cause that would mean going back on all what she stood for. How can she give me her new number or call me when all this while she has been fighting so hard to keep me away. How can she even admit to herself that she is actually missing me even if she is? That is going against all she stood for in the past 2 months? Love is complicated, and so is life. I know we both are threading a very very fine line, we have lost each other now we don't even know how to get back even if we want to.
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