we should have never fought.

I am sorry we should have never fought.
I miss you babe, you are in my every thought.
I dont know why we have days like those,
When we feel so far from being so close.
Anyway lets forget it now,
I hope we make up for it somehow.

You say I act like a girl,
well for you I'll even do the twirl.
I go weak in the knees when you around,
And I maybe act like a big clown.
And if you ever look at me and smile,
it makes all so worthwhile.

I'd get you flowers, I'd get you gold,
I will never break the promises I told.
I'd look in your eyes and kiss your lips,
and touch you gently with my fingertips.
I'd hold you close and never let go,
If just once you asked me so. :-(

I know I have hurt you in the past,
I'd take all the blame for why it didn't last.
you know I have tried to mend my ways,
I know now, without you, how bad are my days.
Without you I still can't sleep.
waking up without you at times I still weep.

Once again I dont know what more to say,
I just hope things would be better someday.
I just hope one day you will see,
The love for you inside of me.
Now I really wish it would rain
And somehow are best days would come again.

All Fools Day

One day to late but thats ok..For a fool like me I dont think days have any meaning. Really if I look at this blog, I dont know what I feel. Its Fucking April, like how many months? Lets see Sep-April is about 7 months, and here I am again just me and my lonely mind. Why the fuck do I do this to myself? Why don't I see the love that I am looking for lies elsewhere?

In this relationship really I dont think I have left any stone unturned. Yes she accuses me of everything, of being unfair to her, of hurting her, of making her have the worst time in her life, of the things I don't even know, Whereas I since the day I met her I have never even kissed another woman, or even gone close, I have never even lied, I have really believed in us, and I have tried to do all I could. Yes I am not the best person in the world, no I am not, but really to her I try to be the best I can. What did I not do? I took her everywhere I could, where ever we could afford to go we went. How muchI could afford for us I tried, took up a place she liked too, and I tried.

Why do I have write this shit on my stupid blog. Who cares really who the fuck cares what I write here. For all anyone cares is if I even lived or died. I am hopelessly in love with this girl who I doesn't give a shit about me, who has told me over and over again that. The worst fuckin part is I have lost o much of myself in this that I dont even know what makes me happy.

Today is supposed to be the best day in my life. I got paid the most ever. And here I am doing what? crying? Fuck me I really suck!!!