Its been a while since I wrote in this blog, and maybe for a good reason, I was waiting to forget it all and maybe put it past me, but today I was just compelled to write one final entry to this painful blog, from now on it will take it turn for the better.
I mean I can sit here and cry and be depressed and keep on typing on how I feel, and what I miss and Oh! I am so lonely, but that is not going to bring her back, more so it has just pushed her in someone else's arms. Now I can keep crying and preach 'Never Give In' to myself and keep questioning the divine will that why it would put me thru this, but the truth is that there is no divine will or any such thing we are all mere mortals and at the most basic Love has no place in nature, its survival of the fittest.
About Devine will, either I can keep questioning it or simply accept it, but I know no living being that has seen miracles or anything close to that. If there is for one there would not be so much suffering in this world, and for my case he would know what I have gone thru and would at least show me a sign of light in this darkness that I foresee. I mean there would be some justice in this world, love would mean something, human beings would be much more appreciative towards nature and one another. I mean out of the Zillion tears that I have cried maybe one could have been wiped off by the one they were cried for. I mean it is so crazy that you sacrifice all yourself for that one thing that was meaningless only to find it so meaningless further in time.
Now about me, and for me. Where was I ? Oh ya, at I can keep on being lonely and bla bla bla. Really Its fuckin' crazy and in a psychotic way really really crazy, I have written in this blog for over 1.5 years on how I miss this girl and how I want her etc Com'on dude, if I was to make myself read this a few years ago I would laugh like hell that I could come up with stuff like this one day.
Anyway so the point is really she has someone new and I better get a life else I would not be able to look myself in the mirror, I should just be glad I helped her in her life when she needed it and now she has someone else to take her along to the next place. I mean I can beat myself over it as to why I was simply not good enough for her but that only she would know. All I need to do is work on myself and be better than I ever could be and better than she could have ever imagined me, thats the only thing I can do.
