I haven't written for a few days, thats only because I dot know what to write. Like I wrote before I am exhausted. Exhausted of ideas or even of things to do. I mean she knows I love her and I really do. But now I am helpless, the things she has said and done push me really far from her.
She hugs and kisses me and then tells me they were lies. She calls me a stalker and shouts at me in a restaurant. I give her space she wants and then also I am wrong. She won't even give me her number when she can give it to everyone else. One day she calls me for dinner the next she never wants to keep in touch. One day she is so in love the other so very indifferent.
What can I do really? I want to call her and meet her but now I ask myself where would that lead me to? If I call her what will I gain, she will only call me a stalker or tell me she doesn't want to see me which will put me back to the ground again and will break me. All I can do is hope for her heart to change, I can only hope she finds the love in me that she is looking for, I can only hope that one day she would mean what she says and she would make me believe her words more than saying she loves me.
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