My Story.

Its been about close to a month now for my break up and initially it was really bad for me.
We lived together for over 2 years. She was/is a college student and I am a Techi.
The first time we met eachother we were head over heels in love and moved in together almost
instantly. And since then we shared everything together. She travelled with me and met my family
we had a lot of good times together. Both our parents and entire family lived out of town,
so for the past 2 years and eachother wasall we had.

We built our little home together, and it was very nice. We switched apartments, etc. Her Family was
not aware that she lived with me, they knew we are seeing eachother, as she is from a more consertive family, and maybe her being only 21 could be another reason. I am 27, my family supported us whenever we needed it in every which way and we were happy.

I am not saying that it was smooth sailing through out out 2 years, but yes we had our share of fights and differences and we always made up and things were great. In July/August she got into another school for MBA in the same city and I we were happy that we could continue this. More so I believe I was also some part of the reason she chose to continue studying in this city or could be just she wanted to away from family as well. Her parents are going thru a divorce or unsettlement right now and I dont feel they are the best influence on her either. She is the only child and I have seen the toll it takes on her, while she was with me.

The one day in August she told me her Mom is moving back and she needs to live with her as she doesnt have a choice. She is too young and cant support herself and was underpressure. Initially I could not understand this and told her this would not work out if it is going to be that way. Yes I know I was being unreasonable. Then she found a house close to where I stayed she told me so that it is easier for us to meet, or maybe cause it was a better part of the town I dont know now.

Then before her Mom even moved in she started wanting to spend her time there than at 'Our'. Which ofcourse I failed to understand, and could never comprehend her choices. She would just say it is closer to her college.

EveryNight she spent away killed me slowly by slowly I cried all the nights and whenever I woke up alone.
I could just not stand that. She told me she needed some space and time and had a lot on her mind with
College, her Mom moving back and her Family separating.

Then following one saturday night we went out together to a friends place. I think Oct 18th or so.
And the she again insisted that I drop her to her place instead of going to 'Ours'. By then I knew she has no college the next day and I couldnt quite understand her decission. So I dropped her back to her place and I didnt want to go home to our place where there will be no one and I would just sit and cry alone on her decission, so I went back to the party. And then after an hour or so I got a call from her saying that she was at our place and she didnt want to be with me.

In the next few days her Mom moved in as she said she would. I tried calling her she would speak to me but didnt want to really talk about anything. And kept asking me to move on. Kept telling me to leave her be and didnt want to do anything together anymore.

The next weekend I was going away on Vacation for a week to meet my family.
I told her I needed to see her and talk to her before I felt, as I really missed her, that week as far as I remember I cried all day and couldnt even come to work most days I know I was doing the worst things possible.
I would try calling her till she got fed up and answered. I begged her to see me and threw my self to the ground for her but she didnt respond. Then the night before I was to leave she finally decided to see me and come over for a while.

We spent the entire evening quite nicly, until it was time for her to leave. I broke down, I mean literally,
I howled to her and and begged her for a chance I did all I could it was horrible. She promised to see me the next day if I stopped and if I took a hold of myself, she would drop me off to the station and miss her morning lecture.The next day I bought some flowers and met her in the morning, she was late but thats ok she was there atleast. We went out to lunch it was nice, and we had some decent conversation. We went home kissed a bit and hugged alot and nothing more.

I went home a week went we spoke on the phone at times. But now she started taking my phone calls as stalking her !! And said to me she doesnt want to talk to me and that it is over between us. I could not understand the change of behaviour again. She said to me I scared her away last weekend when I broke down and begged her and she didnt want myself to physically hurt myself or kill myself or something thats why she helped me over the weekend and dropped me off till I got home. Then one day she told me not to call her at all.

I came back on 2nd November. Spoke to her and said she would take time out for me and meet me for dinner.
When the time came she was already out with her mom and asked to meet me the next day.
The next day came I called and asked for 15 mins for coffee and she said she was too busy,
but finally came for a few minutes. We had coffee and it was a bit emotional, we didnt really speak much
more as if I dint have much to say. She had a huge smile when she walked in and was actually happy to see me but I guess this time I wanted some answers to questions I didnt know. She left and after that whenever I have called she said to me she need time and space for herself. And that we had nothing left to talk about. I still kept trying to get in touch with her, I sent flowers, and emailed her each day cause I really did miss her. I kept trying to get thru inside to this girl I shared everything with but now it started to look harder and harder eachday.

She didnt see me that entire week. She told me her exams are coming and she has no time.
We would talk but now I could feel she was just trying to make convesration as she knew else I would simply call back or something. Then on the 8th Nov we were to go for a common friends wedding. I sent her an SMS asking her if she could come as it would mean a lot to the friend, and I will not talk about us or anything and would keep the event really short. She replied she is not too well and would like to study. I was fine with that I didnt go either then. I went out with some friends, then to a club to grab a beer. I was there for about 2 hours after which she shows up there!! I have no clue with whom either. At first we have a decent converstaion but she was with someone else, I mean having a conversation.But after the other guy left I dont know what happened to me. I am not the kind of guy who blows his top of but this time I for once got angry at her for lieing to me she could have just told me she didn't want to see me, or wanted to somewhere else. I got quite mad and walked out the bar.

We ofcourse had a big fight over the phone then, she said she could be out with whoever she wants etc and I have no right to ask her where she is or anything. Infact she doesnt even have to tell me any truth if she doesnt want to. Then finally she called the next evening (Sunday 9th Nov) and said she didnt want to end things on a bad note and explained to me who that guy was etc and that she needed time and had exams and that she would talk to next Tuesday as she had exams till then.

That was the last conversation I had with her. After which she put her phone off till a few days ago.
I emailed her thruought the week, and in vain till on thrusday when she replied:
"read some of ur messages. they're really sweet. i am not angry or hate you. exams are on. am busy. take care"

After which I emailed her saying

"I hope you are fine and your exams are going good.
As far as I go you can imagine how I am, I was quite shattered but now
slowly have gathered the pieces I guess and am learning to live without you.
Though it is still hard and often I am thinking about you, but thats life I just feel that
I have woken up from a bad nightmare or something. And I simply have to carry on.
I am sure with time it will all be over and we would have drifted away like so many people who
loose love, and will again live to find it one day............."

I have not gotten anything back nor have I emailed her after that.

I went to another city this weekend to meet some friends so that I dont think of her and for
counselling. I have not spoken to her now for over a week or so..And I do not have the courage to go thru any more phone calls where she will tell me anything rude or anything that will bring more hurt.
Today is when her exams are to be over and tomorrow I am going travelling again to a National Park with Family all so that I can keep my mind off her for another. I dont know what to do I have half dialed her number a few times but can't gather the courage.