How could an angel break my heart?

I heard he sang a lullaby, I heard he sang it from his heart.
When I found out thought I would die, Because that lullaby was mine.
I heard he sealed it with a kiss, He gently kissed her cherry lips.
I found that so hard to believe, Because his kiss belonged to me.

How could an angel break my heart, Why didn't he catch my falling star.
I wish I didn't wish so hard, Maybe I wished our love apart.
How could an angel break my heart?

I heard here face was white as rain, Soft as a rose that blooms in may.
He keeps her picture in a frame, And when he sleeps he calls her name.
I wonder if she makes him smile, The way he used to smile at me.
I hope she doesn't make him laugh, Because his laugh belongs to me.

How could an angel break my heart, Why didn't he catch my falling star.
I wish I didn't wish so hard, Maybe I wish our love apart.
How could an angel break my heart?

Oh my soul is dying, its crying, I'm trying to understand.
Please help me.

How could an angel break my heart, Why didn't he catch my falling star.
I wish I didn't wish so hard, Maybe I wished our love apart.
How could an angel break my heart?

This place where a part of you will forever be a part of me..

"There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me."

Been a while since I wrote here, it seems to me that this is the only place in the world where I can be free and write to myself.Its been a few months now of a mental roller-coster, I just don't have any more to say cause I don't think I am sure about my feelings any more. I have my own reasons to believe its done and I should stop fooling myself, cause at the end of it all its been nearly a year and I can't still be upset over something that happened so long ago. My only question to her is when she did not want anything from me why did she have to come back in my life only to put me through this pain again? She calls me selfish, but at the end of the day I have done so much only for her and in return she has not even said a small "Thanks You." and has instead only questioned my intentions. Isn't her actions selfish that she knows I am weak for her so she uses me whenever she needs me?

'Selfish'

Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.

Was I selfish when you needed to pay your friend for Goa? Was I selfish when you needed contacts or stpid Sun Block for Goa? Was I selfish when you needed to pay Sneha? Was I selfish when you guys needed to go to the Canteen or ShivaJi Market? Was I selfish when I waited for you to finish your exmas? Was I selfish when I woke up and saw your eyes swollen and ran to get you solution? Was I selfish whenever you were hungry? Was I selfish when I downloaded the games for you, and never once asked you not to play them if and when you came over? Was I selfish when I spoke to your Mom and dad about the Car? Was I selfish when I get you balance, even though you might call me once? Was I selfish when I wanted to drop you to the station, maybe a bit cause I wanted to spend time with you before you left? Was I selfish to take you to the botiques? Was I selfish to find you the cat, and maybe buy food for her without you even telling me to? Was I selfish when I stayed up all night to drop off your Mom? Was I selfish in watching you sleep near me when you did, and maybe kiss you then as you would shout when you woke up? Was I selfish or have any Ego when you hit me in front of everyone and I still hold you and take care of you?

The only thing I can see that I am selfish in is the fact that I want to spend all my time with you, and in that time too all I TRY to do is do things for you, things to maybe make you smile, or help you out with things that you might need help with. And I do that not cause of any other intention but so that maybe you realize that I put you always before me, just to show you that you are more important to me, than I am to myself. Just so that you are maybe happy with me when you around me, and just to show you that I am always there for you.

You can say...

You can say I dont love you,
you can say I dont care,
but if you ever need me,
you know I'd always be there.

You can say we are not good together,
you can say all we do is fight,
but if really you think about it,
only you can make it all right.

You can say I only wanna hurt you,
You can say I only wanna make you cry,
but if you'd look in my eyes once June,
you'd know it is all a lie.

You can say how important everyone else is,
You can even say why,
but you know to make everything right girl,
you know I really do try.

You can say it is all to late now,
you can say that the love has died,
but you and I both know,
how we really feel inside.

You can say its all over now,
You can say I have lost my chance,
But I still hope someday,
under the stars we could dance.

You can say I can do all I want,
but I have lost my time,
You tend to forget that love only
matures with age and gets better like fine wine.

You can say you feel nothing for me,
you can go out and mistreat me,
but I know to you I am not any other man,
and I'd still love you all I can.

More Poetry...

I can get you chocolates, I can get you flowers,
I can jump around the world and call for you from all the towers.
I can write you letters, I can blurt out songs,
I can try to make up for all that I have done wrong.

I love you so, and I want you to know,
though you ask this of me, I can't just let go.
I just hope you know how I feel for you girl,
you are the only one I love in this world.

When you look at me the whole world seems to stop,
And everything and everyone else seems like a prop.
Everytime I have to watch you go,
It puts me down in a brand new low.

I wanna take you dancing in the rain,
But you'd simply say whats in it to gain.
so instead I take you to every botique in town,
so you would never look at me and frown.

I am not a poyet, but I write this to you,
I am sorry if these are only few things that I can do.
Forgive me June for all I have done wrong,
You know that to only you I belong.

So please June lets stop this fight,
And try to make everything between us right.
There is no one else in this but you and I,
so please June lets stop all the lie.

I hope someday you would give us a chance,
I promise to treat you better than the Queen of France.
And please don't ever say we are thru,
When there is so much still between me and you.

Maybe to you these words don't make sense,
but I mean them with their very essence.
I dont know what more to write to you,
I have run out of words and no longer have a clue....
Nanu

we should have never fought.

I am sorry we should have never fought.
I miss you babe, you are in my every thought.
I dont know why we have days like those,
When we feel so far from being so close.
Anyway lets forget it now,
I hope we make up for it somehow.

You say I act like a girl,
well for you I'll even do the twirl.
I go weak in the knees when you around,
And I maybe act like a big clown.
And if you ever look at me and smile,
it makes all so worthwhile.

I'd get you flowers, I'd get you gold,
I will never break the promises I told.
I'd look in your eyes and kiss your lips,
and touch you gently with my fingertips.
I'd hold you close and never let go,
If just once you asked me so. :-(

I know I have hurt you in the past,
I'd take all the blame for why it didn't last.
you know I have tried to mend my ways,
I know now, without you, how bad are my days.
Without you I still can't sleep.
waking up without you at times I still weep.

Once again I dont know what more to say,
I just hope things would be better someday.
I just hope one day you will see,
The love for you inside of me.
Now I really wish it would rain
And somehow are best days would come again.

All Fools Day

One day to late but thats ok..For a fool like me I dont think days have any meaning. Really if I look at this blog, I dont know what I feel. Its Fucking April, like how many months? Lets see Sep-April is about 7 months, and here I am again just me and my lonely mind. Why the fuck do I do this to myself? Why don't I see the love that I am looking for lies elsewhere?

In this relationship really I dont think I have left any stone unturned. Yes she accuses me of everything, of being unfair to her, of hurting her, of making her have the worst time in her life, of the things I don't even know, Whereas I since the day I met her I have never even kissed another woman, or even gone close, I have never even lied, I have really believed in us, and I have tried to do all I could. Yes I am not the best person in the world, no I am not, but really to her I try to be the best I can. What did I not do? I took her everywhere I could, where ever we could afford to go we went. How muchI could afford for us I tried, took up a place she liked too, and I tried.

Why do I have write this shit on my stupid blog. Who cares really who the fuck cares what I write here. For all anyone cares is if I even lived or died. I am hopelessly in love with this girl who I doesn't give a shit about me, who has told me over and over again that. The worst fuckin part is I have lost o much of myself in this that I dont even know what makes me happy.

Today is supposed to be the best day in my life. I got paid the most ever. And here I am doing what? crying? Fuck me I really suck!!!